Just survived another biochemistry exam, as usual, no surprise, no exciting. Maybe because lately it has been so crazy busy and I have no mood at all to have fun or something. Funny thing is, the language of my space on lab's computer is traditional Chinese and back home is English. It is not like I cannot read traditional Chinese or something, I was reciting some poetry to calm down in traditional Chinese a moment ago, just the words, such as 部落格 or something, are more confusing and alienate than English, maybe even Japanese. One of my friend's blog mentioned the people with talent in language are properly more anxious and insecure about the basic survival issue. Maybe, what I know is when someone favors to speak in the most common accent, it is due to the subconscious trend for personal space and avoidance of self-definition. Right now, it is like there is a sort of crisis or something, I am speaking and listening English without any attention, and at first I blamed my exhausting, but it may just be I do not care anymore. I do not know whether it is good or not. What I want and what I need may not be the same, I wrote down the topic "Settle" in a friend's email and I did not even know I really wanted to do that. I guess whenever I wrote something in English, you guys may not pay attention at all, so all of these non-sense are just for myself. I felt pretty happy recently, maybe this is just a backfire. Maybe it is the rain. We will see.

这话看起来十分容易引起误解，她的确是除了父母之外，这个世界上对我最重要的人。认识她大概有一辈子那么久了，这么多年的好友，一起长大互相守望，已经是一种习惯，我们也早已是姐妹亲人。大概是一种感觉，打越洋电话给她，才知道，因为男友也要来美国，他们决定要领证结婚了。恋爱长跑六年，彼此性格合适，初恋而无风无浪，真的是一种幸福吧。竟然没有任何羡慕恨嫁的情绪，只觉得开心，因为她也要来美国了。那时我也算有一个家了，安稳了，多年过去，我们居然还能实现十几年前的梦想，原来我是如此不能免俗的人，听到这样的消息，只是开心，再也想不到什么其它了。她说起，最亲密的感情，是和我不是和小涂，很好奇是不是要确定不是LESBIAN。其实，不论是怎么样的感情，真挚长久，都是上天的礼物。所以，希望所有的朋友，尤其是所有女孩子朋友们，都能幸福的早嫁，至少，开心的生活。多年前，和朋友说起，愿爱我者恒如我所爱，现在，也希望，不论经历多少难过不开心，所有的朋友也都可以有很俗气的幸福生活，保持最最可爱的那部分性情。

这个应该也算是她送我最好的生日礼物了

It has been a long time since last update. Things are getting better and better, I am really lucky I guess. Chacha is coming here maybe in the next year, because her boyfriend has got the fellowship in Atlanta Emory University in a public health PhD program. She is not a close friend, after almost a life time friendship, she is my family... The best part is, she still believes in the most brave and fearless part of me... So do I. I have got a really well paid research assistant position, the salary hopefully can cover everything... The biochemistry midterm was delivered by the famous Dr Jack, who is the nicest and strictest professor. The average is 61, and I got 92.5; the other one is fine too, average is 70 something, so I would just live with that. As one can predict, whenever I did something so awesome, something wrong must happen. I did a huge stupid mistake during the experiment... After all of the troublesome and careful procedure, I left the sample in the centrifuge over-night.... Jeuses ! That's why I should always be under pressure, otherwise I will even forget who I am, TOTALLY!

Last Sunday, friends in my lab came to my place to have a little party. We played table tennis and pool in my house, it was a lot of fun actually. Finally, I can feel I am a member of a group. A new friend dropped by Saturday night, she is a post-doc in National Institute of Health, which is really really near my place. We talked until mid-night. The way she is right now, hopefully, could be my way years later. All the seminars and classes are awesome, especially when the speakers are really passonate of the topics. The confidence they showed was not just who they are, what position they are in right now, but the professional attitude. Studying here is not just about the knowledge, also the attitude.

The research day was just OK, as I imagined, but near the end of our presentation and poster illumination, a professor who had done a lot of studies about stem cells came out and ask Ramesh several critical questions, the flurescent pictures, the cell cycle signal... This is the first time I am a part of the real scientific discussion. With all of the evidence, still there a huge bunch of scientists and doctors do not buy that heart is a self-regenerative organ... Ramesh said when she went to a medical conference and present her study, the audience was stirring, for the first time in her life, she thought she needed body guards...

News from China, a couple of high-school classmates are getting married and one close friend, after one year study in Germany, went back to China. I don't know what to say or how I feel, so I write down how I have been lately.